Time is precious!
When your child becomes a senior in high school, you may suddenly feel an urge to hold onto every single moment. You might look back at old photos, reflect on all the memories, and feel your heart filled with both joy and sadness. There’s often a sense of grief – for the journey that was and the unknown one ahead.
I remember sitting on my couch, tears falling like a waterfall, as my heart grieved change. No longer would I hear the footsteps of my kids moving about, no longer hear the music played within the walls of the home, no longer see the chipper smiles in the morning. The home would feel different not having them around.
I also wondered, “What does the next chapter look like for me?” One moment, I was busy planning graduations, the next, I was mourning change. For so long, my identity was wrapped up in being “Mom”: working, dropping off at school, cheering at games, and having late-night talks in the kitchen. I felt deep pride in my children’s growth – but also grief for the life that was shifting.
Honestly, it took about a year for me to move through the grief. But today, I can embrace this new chapter and be authentically good to myself – both as a mom who raised children and as a woman rediscovering who she is.
You might find yourself on a teeter-totter of emotions – one day grateful, the next grieving. This is completely normal. Becoming an empty nester is a major life transition. You may feel sadness, loneliness, or even excitement about the possibilities ahead – maybe finishing that degree you put on hold, exploring a new career, or finally traveling more.
Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Empty Nest Grief
Empty-nest grief is a powerful way to describe this complex transition. It’s not just about missing your children; it’s about adjusting to a new identity. The role of a full-time parent is changing, and now you’re invited to rediscover who you are – and what you want your next chapter to look like.
Here are a few ways to navigate this tender and transformative time:
• Acknowledge Your Feelings
Don’t suppress the sadness, fear, or even relief you might feel. Let yourself grieve the end of an era. It’s okay to cry, to feel lost, or to not have all the answers right away.
• Reconnect with Yourself
Think back to what brought you joy before parenting consumed your schedule. What hobbies or dreams did you set aside? Now is the time to nurture them again – whether it’s painting, hiking, taking a class, or joining a book club.
• Strengthen Other Relationships
Your role as a partner, friend, or sibling can now take center stage. Plan a trip with friends, go on a date night, or reconnect through simple, meaningful conversations.
• Redefine Your Role as a Parent
Your relationship with your child isn’t ending – it’s evolving. You’re shifting from being a hands-on caregiver to a supportive guide. Find joy in this new dynamic as you watch your children build their own lives, knowing you’ve given them a strong foundation.
• Create New Routines
The quiet house might feel unfamiliar at first. Fill it with life and intention – morning walks, new recipes, yoga, or gardening. Small routines bring comfort, purpose, and a renewed sense of joy.
This chapter of life isn’t an ending – it’s an invitation – a time to honor what was while opening your heart to what’s next. You’ve given so much of yourself to your children. Now, it’s your turn to invest in you.
What do you want your next chapter to look like?
Jennifer Green is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor with a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision and is certified as a grief educator. She serves Pleasanton, CA, Dublin, CA, offering an in-office setting and online presence throughout California and Idaho. Today, schedule a session at www.sierraoakcounseling.com. Discover and explore what your next chapter looks like as an empty nester and come to session just as you are, even with tears.
